The Drinking Game

My cousin has this grand tradition called "Breakfast and a Movie," where on Saturdays he and his roommates invite people over to make pancakes or whatever and watch a comedy.

I mentioned this to a guy in my apartment complex and it quickly became a date. We went out for waffles and came back to watch the Bourne Identity. Meanwhile, I had a brilliant idea. We have a huge jug of white grapefruit juice in our apartment. It was a gift from someone when Emily was sick--supposedly it's supposed to cure all disease--and the stuff is so nasty that no one has touched it since then. Actually, no one touched it even then.

I grabbed the grapefruit juice and proposed the Early Morning Mormon Drinking Game. Play it yourselves at home! The rules will change depending on what movie you watch. Ours were as follows:

1) Drink whenever Jason Bourne kills someone
2) Drink whenever Jason Bourne humiliates someone
3) Drink whenever Jason Bourne says "I DON'T KNOW!"

Grapefruit juice is ideal for this kind of thing because it tastes awful and burns your insides, just like alcohol. We took our shots out of some tiny measuring cups that he had in his apartment, and I think I must have consumed the equivalent of ten grapefruits. The inside of my mouth was completely puckered. It was a good time.

Drink grapefruit juice wisely.