A Summation of my Last Day with J.Lee

Items Inherited:
(2) sets metal chopsticks
(4) jacked-up lighters
(1) rice cooker
(1) Asian coin purse
(2) potted plants (Simon the aloe vera, Josephine the peace lily)
(1) laptop (settings in Korean)
(1) taser/flaslight combo
(1) customized Korean calligraphy, framed
(1) offer of a drum of sesame seed oil
Final Activities:
(1) viewing of the movie Oblivion (it’s ridiculous)
(1) trip to the zoo, which included (1) baby giraffe and watching an elephant paint with watercolors
(5 million) rounds of super smash bros
(5) super mario kart races
(3) French desserts consumed
(3) hours spent on a pink bean bag
(1) midnight sushi run
(1) sighting of his pantsless roommate in a kitten t-shirt
Conversations Had:
“I would feel uncomfortable dating clones.”
“I have a lot of experience with Laundromats."
“Are we going to do long-distance? Because if not, I’m going to let my parents set up an arranged marriage.”


..Asians, man.

Dating a Korean

1) The other day, we were walking down the sidewalk together when another Asian approached us. Without slowing down or breaking stride, J.Lee bowed deeply and said something in fast Korean. We then passed this man as though nothing had happened.
"Wut" I inquired.
"He's older then me," J.Lee replied.

2) J.Lee invited me over to eat Korean food with some of his friends. As I sat down, I realized, terrified, that the only tools I had at my disposal were chopsticks. "Do you need a fork?" J.Lee asked furtively. He smuggled me a shame fork which I used gratefully and discreetly.

3) After class, J.Lee walked me home. However, when he saw one of my neighbors outside my apartment omplex, he gestured for me to turn the corner with him, out of sight. Once nobody could see us, he hugged me. I gave him confused eyebrows. "You didn't want anyone to see us hug?" I asked. "I'm very Korean in my displays of affection," he responded indignantly.