FRAYNCE

I WENT TO FRAYNCE!
Also, Germany and Austria. I will post some highlights for you. Just a couple and then more later because my left eyeball is sort of itching and so I am having a hard time focusing completely. Right now. Anyway. Some background information: I stayed with this elderly French widow and her cat. They were both insane. Her name is Madam Dard.
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Madam Dard: I forgot to make a salad.
Me: Ah, it's not a problem. The rest of the dinner looks great.
Madam Dard: (incredulous look) No, it is a big problem. I want a salad.


Scene: I am making a sandwich. Stupid, psycho cat comes and tries to eat my sandwich. I move to the table.
Stupid cat jumps onto the floor and onto the table and tries to eat my sandwich again. I move to the counter.
Cat follow me to the counter. I slap the cat in the face approximately five times with a wet paper towel. The cat continues making the moves on my sandwich.
I shove the cat into the kitchen sink and sprint into my bedroom to eat my sandwich.


Roommate Amanda and I are going into the bathroom to brush our teeth. Amanda opens the bathroom cupboard. The psychotic cat's head pops out.


Madam Dard: I made chicken livers because I know how popular they are in America.
Me: Ha ha ha. What did you really make for dinner?
Madam Dard: ....chicken livers.


Madam Dard: You have a cold? I told you, it's because you wash your hair too much. That's an American thing to do.
Madam Dard's friend: It's true. You washed your hair today? Do you ever want to get better?
Madam Dard: (rolls eyes) All the time, Americans are washing their hair too much.


Those are some Dard quotes to get you through the night. Also, while in Paris three strange men stroked my hair. Men, that is not okay. Ask permission first. And then I will say no and we can get on with our lives.